Have you heard of the 80-20 relationship rule? As I am aware Bishop TD Jakes had touched on this before so I thought I'd give my take on it, for you to digest and express your own opinions if you like, or pass it on to whom ever.
Lola's 80-20 Rule:
In our relationship, our partner is most likely only able to offer 80% of what we need. So therefore we would often go searching for somewhere/someone who fills in the small space of the other 20% and because it’s been missing for so long, you think you’ve finally fulfilled that empty void your current partner was unable to fill. HOWEVER, though searching could either be as innocent as seeking within friendships to fill that void it could also mean contemplating taking risks in cheating, or leaving your 80% for that small 20% your missing out on. What you need to realise is that in doing this your only left with... 20%. Obviously this is no where near as fulfilling as being with someone who offers 80% (do the math...20% vs 80%)
YOU GET ME??...kool...I'll go on.
Now I believe this is where most marriages/relationships fail. Most people only get about 80% of what they need in a marriage and honestly the 20% shouldn't really be a big issue.
The problem is so many men and women put way too much focus on what they are NOT getting out of the relationship (instead of what they already have) meaning dissatisfaction which then puts a strain on the relationship that 9/10 times ends in divorce/breaking up/cheating on the 80% as the 20% seems to be more appealing (at the time)...so in hindsight you have lost out on 80% satisfaction for the quick 20% fix (do the math...20% vs 80%)
YOU STILL WITH ME YEH?...kool...OK LET ME ROUND IT UP
Lola's Final Thoughts:
Reality is no relationship is perfect as we all have flaws and will fall short in life in many areas. Unspoken expectations are a relationship killer. The key to a sustainable relationship is to accept the 80% and work on the 20% ...and just be happy. I mean look at it this way; you'd be deeply pissed if you left your plate of Jollof rice, plantain and assorted meat on the table to go get an extra piece of chicken and come back to find someone else eating from your plate...
THINK ABOUT IT!
...and that's all she wrote
i LOVE it...i've been guilty of leaving a full course meal for a bit of dessert only to come back and find out that some heifer has been eating out my plate...and eating WELL. Women, and men alike, need to realize that when we have a good thing, we should appreciate it, despite the flaws because I bet we're not a perfect 10 in the eyes of our significant others but they love us all the same!
ReplyDelete