Wise Words on: R E L A T I O N S H I P S

"When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on- series polygamy- until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimension to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter."

- Tom Robbins (Still Life with Woodpecker 1980)

The Woman Manual: FOR THE M A N D E M

1. Chivalry is very much alive...if you keep it that way
Yes I know a lot of us women like to protest about being an independent woman blah blah. But we still like it when you open doors, pull out chairs and all that good stuff. It's not like we can't do it ourselves its just nice to see that a guy has a gentleman side.

2. We like to talk all you have to do is LISTEN
You know this already, yes women like to talk, talk about our day, our emotions, vent, you know get some things off our chest. All we ask is that you just sit and listen, nod a couple times with a  "wow really?" thrown in here and there. We don't expect you to fix the problem or have all the answers just listen, it won't hurt. It's worse if we notice that your not paying attention we talk more [on purpose] which evidently gets on your nerves.

3. So your ballin? that's great...but I got this
We don't mind you guy's paying, but we don't expect you to do it all the time. We actually don't have any problem picking up the bill, honestly. Also don't go taking out loans, maxing out your credit cards falling into near bankruptcy just to impress us. We see through the guys that use their student loan to pop champs at the club especially when they're leaving in a Ford KA.

4. If your going to look at another chick either be discreet or own up to it!
9 out of 10 times we did see you stare at her backoff so to then try and deny it just makes you look very stupid. I mean we probably clocked her ass to, matter fact a lot of the times we've already seen the female first and just look at you to see if you would fall for the bait and sneak a look. If your girl is anything like me, my advice is to just own up to it, or you can do one of these 2 things:

a.) You already know you want to look at said girl, so nudge your girl and be like "ay babes...I swear you got those jeans/dress/leggings" as your girl proceeds to look over, you've given yourself  a free pass to look at the ass with no problem.

b.) Look in the direction the said girl will walk prematurely. Pretend your looking at something ahead, then when she walks past your already looking in that direction no longer liable as to what walks into your peripheral vision.

4.No means no! not yes, not maybe, not I'm thinking about it
I feel like this is pretty self explanatory. When a woman say's no she more than likely means it. It will never be a yes, she will not change her mind. Matter fact her mind is already made up, so just accept the "no" humbly and keep it moving.

5.Being "cute" is a good thing
We've seen men go into full-body convulsions at this word. If we say you're cute, be very impressed.

6.The Ex talk
Talking about your Ex and making comparisons to us is a straight RED CARD and a deuces. Unless we ask, we don't care to know that your ex has the same complexion as us, or she did this for you or we should try this because your ex did. It makes you look like your still caught up and haven't moved on, its a turn off and quite frankly going on and on about your Ex will make us X you out like its Britain's Got Talent.

7. Leave the "Road Man" at home
Fair enough us women like "bad boys", there's something sexy about them. However don't talk to us like we're one of the man dem, excessive swearing, profanity, lude comments. Save it for when your jamming with your boys, as a lady we don't really need to hear all that thanks.

8.We can't read your minds or your body...open your mouth
Unless you tell us, we will not know if your interested. Guy's are known for sending mixed signals, they may act like they're interested but it could be just an ACT in order to get us into bed (you know its true). Be real, we don't want to have to try and figure things out or make silly assumptions. Spare us the headache and just let us know wa gwan.

9. Your one of a few
Don't assume that your the only guy that is trying to pursue us. More than likely we're talking to a couple other guys, its called options. Guy's have them and so do us females. So I suggest you don't get too comfortable and start slacking because the day you randomly call her she will drop the "oh I'm kinda seeing someone right now" line..yea you didn't make the cut...sorry.

10. Its all about eyes, touch and smile [exactly in this order]
If we gaze into your eyes, then proceed to touch your arm, thigh/leg, or chest, followed by a smile it only means one thing "I want you". It's as simple as that.



[Disclaimer:  This is from my own words/personal experiences I don't speak for ALL women, but I'm sure the majority can co-sign]

A New Year a New Me: W E I G H T L O S S

Ok so we're already 2 months into the New Year and although I’m not one for new year resolutions, I did say that I was going to concentrate on getting fit, losing weight and just being a bit more active.  Well so far so good...I think. I’ve been working out more and eating sensibly. (Well trying to)


Eating Habits:
I never really had bad eating habits, I’m not one for overeating or sweet things (I’m a savoury kinda chick). However my main problem was skipping breakfast and eating dinner late at night. I bet your thinking “hmm skipping meals, doesn’t that make you lose weight?” uhh HECK NO! If anything you can easily gain more weight from skipping meals, why? Well you see when you don’t eat you get really hungry and are prone to stuff your face later on in the day, and we all know the later you eat the less time you have to burn it off. Also after every meal skipped when you do finally eat something your body takes every single ounce of calorie, fat, sugar every little bit from that meal as a way to refuel itself, imagine your body saying “yes! food!..finally..I’ll take that, have me some of that...oh and that...yes more...more!!..MORE!!”
So what’s the solution you ask? Well eating as frequently as you can but in small HEALTHY portions (“ehh?? You mean to tell me eating a lot helps me lose weight”) Yeah! sounds crazy but having frequent small meals actually boosts your metabolism and you end up burning more fat...don’t believe me? Google it!

Being Active
I’d be the first to say I’m one lazy *bleep*. I hate having to get up and go to the gym, it’s like the biggest pain in the *bleep* [oh eff it]... the biggest pain in the ARSE! (Yes I just said arse...sue me?) That’s how much I hate the gym. It’s like my hate for chocolate, I rather not eat it but I’d get a craving every now and then. If I want to vent out some frustration, I’d head to the gym and work it off, however if I’m in a great mood, you won’t see me in there for anything lol.

Evidently this mentality had to change, so I’ve been thinking of fun way’s to work out. I have no problem staying active just as long as it’s fun. We know that in order to see results it’s best to work out ATLEAST 3 times a week (or more depending on your goal).

So as well as going to the gym, I’ve taken up Zumba classes, also been working out with my Wii at home (Just dance, Michael Jackson experience...bloody fun mate, I highly recommend it). I have recently been introduced to this Nike Training Club iPhone app, this thing is a GOD SEND I tell ya! No joke you get a really good work out from it, like I mean; sweat, aches & pains the following day the whole thing. HIGHLY RECCOMEND IT!! If you have an iphone/ipod/ipad whatever, download this app and let me know what you think, I guarantee it will change your life.

I advise that you find other great way’s to stay active. Don’t end up doing the same work out at the gym, same routine blah blah blah, its good to surprise your body sometimes you get better results that way. You can go for walks, jogs, take up dance classes (rhythm or not hehehe it’s still fun and sweaty), kick boxing/martial arts, Wii/Kinect, anything that keeps your heart racing and makes you sweat. Yes ANYTHING...I know what you’re thinking, yes even that hehehehe.  

Method to my madness:
I decided to do all this basically because I wanted to; it had nothing to do with what others around me had to say. That’s the key factor when changing anything about yourself you have to make sure that your doing it for YOU and not for someone else. I’ve had people say “why u going gym for? Why you trying to lose weight? You look fine...don’t go and get too skinny” in the same sense I’ve also heard “hmph! You’ve gained weight boi, maybe if your body looked a little trimmer that dress would suit you”. Now if I listened to these people I’d actually go mad, you see how it’s one thing then another, a bit confusing right? That’s why it’s best to listen to YOU. Think about why you should be doing this, if losing weight is something you really want. If you’re the type to have self esteem issues maybe it could be a deeper problem than just weight, you might want to evaluate that. All in all I’d encourage you to LOVE every part of you, flaws and all. No, there’s nothing wrong with altering a few things here and there if you feel it will better who you are but don’t let the pressure of today’s society make the decisions for you.
Just do you honey [finger snap].

Fashion Finds: Christian Louboutin spring 2011 C O L L E C T I O N

Its here, its finally here! [shoegasm]. I can now reveal to you Christian Louboutin's 2011 spring collection [roar of applause]. BUT! hmm I dunno if I can really get excited about this collection, although I have a couple faves the majority...not so much. However have a look for yourself.

I'd have to say I was more excited about the Winter collection, I nearly took out a loan, hehehhe! ...No foreal. 

[Link Luv] La Passion Des Louboutins

My Perfect Imperfections ♡

In light of what's happened with the young woman dying from having an illegal butt enhancment procedure. I would just like to encourage all women to embrace their WHOLE selves. flaws and all. If God wanted you otherwise he would have created you otherwise, no need to feel like you should alter what you have. Your his BEAUTIFUL creation, please remember that. So embrace your perfect imperfections!

Here's me talking about my perfect imperfections :o)

Fashion Finds: Louis Vuitton G A L U C H A T [I want it series]

Those that know me, know that I ♥ LV, and when it comes to designer bags I DO NOT fake it, its an insult to the designer (as my mum say's).

Let me introduce you to the clutch of all clutches, the new addition to the Louis Vuitton 2011 Spring collection.

Galuchat Maestria Clutch Purse

This clutch which comes in Fuchsia (pictured), Amethyst and Grenat is an absolute beauty, and at £2,990 it's worth it! (well thats what I plan to tell myself ahahaha! it most def breaks the bank..but there's always mum :o) )

Side note* Look at this gawjus cake...I want!!

The Independent woman : M Y W O R D S [v-day series]

This is my take on the term "Independent woman".  An over used word that in most cases wrongly defined, but let's be real. What is an independent woman? Being independent is it a good thing or a bad thing?

Fashion Finds : Think P I N K

Yesterday I went to superdrug just to pick up the usual items, you know femme wash, body lotion cotton wool, tea tree facial wash etc. and my sister had directed me to the Barry M section and was looking at some lipsticks. She then picked up this SHOCKING pink lipstick and was like "try it on" now I'm thinking, "you what?! do you see how bright this is?" but just for the fun of it all I tried it on and was surprised of how ok it looked. It kind of some how worked with my complexion...thank God. Next thing I know the cashier is putting it with the rest of my shopping, it was all a bit of a blur really.

Barry M Lip Paint, 62 - Vibrant Pink

I've noticed that bright lips are in this season, all these shocking colours; purple, pink, yellow even baby blue. The only thing is, it's not for everybody, you have to see how it works with YOUR own complexion. It's all about trial and error. Trust me!

Birds of a feather flock together : F A C T !

I’m sure you’ve heard this saying before and lets be real it holds a lot of truth. “Show me who your friend’s are and I’ll tell you who you are”.  Similar statement, again with a lot of truth. (What are you getting at Lola?)  Well you see I’m a firm believer of surrounding yourself with likeminded individuals, this is one of the key things of bettering one self. You have a specific goal/place you want to be, or person you’re trying to be in order to get to that place you need to surround yourself with the tools that can make that goal achievable. Say you wanted to be a business man/woman? Then it would make sense to surround yourself with business minded individuals who share that same interest, right? ...no? Ok so do you think it would be productive for a striving business man/woman to spend majority of their time with unemployed lazy bums? Of course not. What can those bums do to help you strive in business? So you get where I’m going with this right? Cool, I’ll continue.

Personally I think if it wasn’t for the people that I surround myself with, I wouldn’t have achieve half of what I have achieved (I’ll let you guys know my story in another post). In my circle of friends/acquaintances it was standard that you had to be “on point”, now my circle is full of entrepreneurs, business people, motivational speakers, athletes, scholar’s etc all of which are doing their own thing and are actually doing it WELL. This in turn made it hard for me not to fail, I am already ambitious by nature and having these types of people around me was healthy competition, healthy competition is ALWAYS good. All that BS people talk about competing with yourself is utter nonsense you can’t compete with yourself, how the heck do you win without opponents ...think about it. I always felt that I had to be a step ahead simply because I didn’t want to get left behind.

Now let’s look at it in the opposite sense, imagine surrounding yourself with negative influences when you have a positive outlook, you may think “well it’s ok I can be a positive influence on them and they can change” I was told these wise words; If you’re sitting on a chair and your friend is sitting on the floor, it would be more of a struggle for you to pull them up to your chair than it will be for them to pull you down to the floor. You get it? You may think that you can be a positive influence but they can be just as much of a negative influence, so in that sense you have to be very careful.

Ok let me round this one up real quick before I lose ya...pay attention!

It’s as simple as this; an Eagle doesn’t jam with pigeons.

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. - Proverbs 27:17

5 tips for the single ladies: M Y W O R D S [v-day series]

With Valentines day just around the corner, I thought it be good for my next few posts to be about love, relationships and self empowerment. So I'd thought I'd share this vid with ya!